Photo by Ksenia ChernayaDaria Shevtsova from Pexels As the saying goes, you are what you eat. And your mouth is the perfect place to observe this. It's because lots of foods and beverages can cause plaque buildup, harming your teeth. There is a significant relationship between diet and whether or not you have a healthy smile or frequent dental visits. Long-term oral health can still be hard to maintain even with good oral hygiene (brush twice daily, floss once daily). Without brushing and flossing, plaque will harden and turn into tartar. Gum disease begins with gingivitis, which is caused by tartar above the gum line. Plaque can cause havoc on your mouth, so what can you do about it? Along with brushing and flossing your teeth twice a day, and checking with your dentist regularly, avoid or limit the foods listed below. To maintain healthy teeth and gums, eat various nutrient-rich foods, such as fruits, vegetables, proteins, calcium-rich foods, and whole grains. Eating certain foods helps prevent plaque and tooth decay. Some foods are worth seeking out, while others should be avoided.

1. Best – Milk

As a result of the lactic acid in milk, your enamel may become lighter. In addition, it stimulates saliva production, which is believed to help wash away bacteria that cause cavities. Also, milk's casein protein prevents stains, and plaque is prevented from accumulating when calcium phosphates are recruited by casein. In another 2014 study, casein was found to bind to polyphenols in tea, which prevents tannins from bonding to teeth and staining them. Lactic acid and casein are also contained in other dairy products, including cheese and yogurt.

Worst – Carbonated drinks

Even if the can says "diet," soda or pop offers little good. The effects of carbonated soda on your teeth are even more severe than those caused by methamphetamine and crack. Plaque produces more acid when carbonated sodas are consumed. You essentially coat your teeth with acid if you drink soda all day. As a result, you have less saliva because it dries out your mouth. Lastly, consuming dark-colored soda can discolor your teeth or stain them. After drinking a soda, don't brush your teeth right away. There is a possibility that this could speed up the decay process.

2. Best – Nuts

It is extremely healthy to snack on nuts to keep your teeth healthy. According to the American Dental Association, they contain calcium, which strengthens the enamel. Replace empty-calorie snacks with almonds.

Worst – Dried Fruits

People often mistake dried fruits for healthy snacks. Although that may be true, dried fruits such as figs, raisins, apricots, and prunes tend to be sticky. Because dried fruits are sticky, they easily cling to teeth and crevices, leaving sugar behind. When you do eat dried fruits, rinse your mouth with water afterward. You should then brush and floss. The new versions of dried fruits are less concentrated with sugar, making them a healthier choice!

3. Best - Fiber-rich fruits and vegetables.

According to the American Dental Association (ADA), fiber helps keep teeth and gums healthy. Additionally, they stimulate saliva flow. Taking these steps and caring for your teeth at home can prevent gum disease and cavities. It takes about 20 minutes after eating something high in sugar or starch for saliva to reduce the impact of acids and enzymes on your teeth. Phosphorus and calcium are both present in saliva. Consequently, teeth that have lost minerals due to bacterial acids are demineralized.

Worst – Citrus

Vitamin C is abundant in oranges, grapefruits, and lemons. Their acid content makes them more prone to decay since they contain more sugar. A drink can be acidified simply by squeezing lemon or lime into it. In addition, mouth sores can be irritated by citrus acid. Drink and eat them in moderation at mealtime if you want to get the antioxidants and vitamins they contain.

4. Best - Green and black teas.

Plaque bacteria are inhibited by polyphenols in both of these teas. In either case, these substances kill or prevent bacteria from multiplying. It prevents bacteria from growing and causes acid to attack teeth. Fluoride can also be found in tea, depending on your water.

Worst – Bread

When you're in the supermarket, take a second before considering the bread aisle, because when you chew bread, the starches break down into sugar in your saliva. A gummy paste is formed when the bread is chewed and sticks to crevices between teeth and cavities can result from that. For carb cravings, choose whole wheat or less-refined varieties because there are fewer added sugars in these, and they are more resistant to breakdown.

5. Best – Foods with Fluoride

It is beneficial for your teeth to drink fluoridated water or consume products containing fluoridated water. Dehydrated soups and powdered juices (if they are not too sweet) fit this category. The fluoride found in poultry products, seafood, and powdered cereals can be absorbed through the mouth through commercially prepared foods.

Worst – Ice

Ice is only water, so chewing it is okay, right? The American Dental Association disagrees. When you chew on hard substances, you are more likely to suffer dental emergencies, such as broken, chipped, cracked teeth or loose crowns. Using ice to keep beverages cold is fine, but chewing it isn't. Drink chilled water or drinks without ice instead of giving in to the urge to eat. The same foods that are healthy for your body will also be healthy for your teeth. Keep your beverage choices limited to fluoridated water or unsweetened tea and opt for fresh foods whenever possible. Consume vitamin- and nutrient-rich foods every meal and avoid sugary or starchy foods. The rule of thumb is to brush twice a day and floss every day, regardless of what you eat or drink.

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Adults can use the advice in the following list to keep their mouths healthy and their teeth strong:

1. Use fluoride toothpaste and fluoridated water when you clean your teeth. 2. Maintain a healthy mouth. To remove dental plaque, brush your teeth thoroughly twice a day and floss once a day in between your teeth. 3. Regardless of whether you have dentures or no natural teeth, go to the dentist at least once a year. 4. Abstain from using tobacco products. Quit smoking if you do. 5. Don't consume too much alcohol. 6. If you have diabetes, attempt to keep the condition under control. This will reduce the chance of developing other problems, like gum disease. Your blood sugar may be reduced by treating gum disease. 7. Ask your doctor for a different medicine if the one you're taking makes you feel dry-mouthed. If dry mouth cannot be prevented, drink lots of water, chew sugarless gum and stay away from alcohol and tobacco products. 8. If your sense of taste or smell suddenly changes, consult a physician or a dentist. 9. If older adult needs assistance brushing and flossing their teeth because they are unable to do it on their own, assist them.

The following practices will improve a child's oral health:

1. Even before they emerge with teeth, daily wipe the gums of a newborn with a warm, wet washcloth. This helps a baby get used to the sensation of brushing their teeth and removes sugars from the gums. 2. Babies and young children shouldn't sleep with bottles or sippy cups in their hands. Milk and juice both contain sugars that, if left on the teeth for an extended period of time, can result in tooth decay. 3. Begin introducing a baby to a sippy cup as they come closer to their first birthday. By the child's first birthday, try to stop using bottles. 4. Only give toddlers juice or milk at mealtimes and let them sip water from sippy cups between meals. 5. Once a baby has teeth, brush them with a soft baby toothbrush twice daily. Use a tiny, rice-sized amount of fluoride-containing toothpaste. A pea-sized amount of toothpaste can be used by kids ages 3 to 6. 6. Until a youngster is able to completely brush all of their teeth on their own, parents or other adults should do it for them. Make sure they spit the toothpaste out by keeping an eye on them. 7. When not in use, keep the toothpaste out of the hands of youngsters. 8. The ADA advises children to visit a dentist no later than six months after their first tooth appears or at the age of one, whichever comes first. 9. Parents and other adults should avoid giving children their own eating utensils or cleaning pacifiers by putting them in their mouths. Both of these behaviours may transmit to the youngster the bacteria that cause cavities in adults.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels Effective communication is one of the key factors in building and maintaining successful relationships, be it with your partner, friends, family, or colleagues. Communication is a two-way street that involves listening and speaking, and it's essential for building trust, resolving conflicts, and expressing love and affection. However, communication can often be a challenging aspect of relationships, and it's essential to understand the different skills and techniques required to communicate effectively.

Active Listening

Active listening is a critical component of effective communication. It involves paying full attention to the person speaking, making eye contact, and not interrupting. Active listening means you are present in the moment and focused on what the other person is saying, rather than formulating your response or thinking about something else. When you actively listen to your partner, you show them that you care about what they have to say and that you value their perspective.

Non-Judgmental Attitude

It's essential to approach communication in a non-judgmental manner. Avoid making assumptions, and instead, seek to understand the other person's perspective. When we approach communication with a non-judgmental attitude, we create a safe space where both parties feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. This, in turn, leads to a deeper connection and a more meaningful conversation.

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It's essential in relationships as it helps to create a deeper connection and understanding between partners. When we show empathy, we are able to see things from the other person's perspective, which leads to more meaningful conversations and helps to resolve conflicts more effectively.

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions in a confident and direct manner without being aggressive. Assertiveness is important in relationships as it allows you to express your needs and desires, and it helps to build mutual respect and understanding. When both partners are assertive, it leads to open and honest communication, and a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Flexibility

Flexibility is crucial in communication and relationships. It means being open to changing your perspective and adjusting your communication style based on the situation. When we are flexible, we are better able to understand and adapt to our partner's communication style, which leads to more effective communication and a deeper connection.

Honesty

Honesty is a vital component of any relationship. It's essential to be truthful and transparent in your communication, even when it's difficult. When we are honest, we build trust and respect, and we create a foundation for a strong, healthy relationship. However, it's also essential to communicate honestly in a way that is respectful and considerate of the other person's feelings.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, but it's how we handle it that makes the difference. Effective communication skills are essential in resolving conflicts and finding mutually agreeable solutions. When conflict arises, it's essential to remain calm, listen actively, and express your thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental and empathetic manner. With effective communication skills, conflicts can be resolved in a way that strengthens the relationship rather than tearing it apart.

Conclusion

In conclusion, effective communication skills are essential in building and maintaining successful relationships. By actively listening, having a non-judgmental attitude, showing empathy, being assertive, flexible, honest, and resolving conflicts effectively, we can create a strong foundation for meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Good communication skills take time and practice to develop, but with effort and a commitment to growth, anyone can improve their communication and strengthen their relationships. Remember, communication is a two-way street, and both partners play a role in creating an environment of openness, trust, and mutual respect.

Photo by Asad Photo Maldives from Pexels Whether you've officially hit dating app fatigue or have lost interest in the online scene, there's always hope. There are several alternatives to downloading and paying for applications to meet a suitable partner (read: someone who is not weird, has red flags, or is your ex). And we know firsthand how tiresome it can be to go out every night of the week in the hopes of meeting that special someone at a bar. Continue reading to discover more about a trustworthy matchmaker, a dating app option that may save you time and sorrow. No, we're not talking about your mother's friend's neighbor's cousin who knows someone "just right for you"... eye roll. We're discussing professional matchmakers. For those who are serious about finding someone to spend their time—and lives—with, these dating gurus look for complementing mates. Before you roll your eyes at the "old school" concept of matching, hear us out. Many individuals have met their significant other using dating apps, so there is no shame in playing the swipe game. But it isn't for everyone, and that's OK. We contacted a professional matchmaker for further information:

A matching service is available to anybody

"Matching is perfect for everyone who is ready to discover love—especially when they are in a position of confidence and comfortability," says Rori Sassoon, CEO of a New York-based matchmaking organization. It makes no difference what your age is, what your work is, or anything else of the kind; what matters is your connection with yourself. "If a person does not love himself, how can they hope to find and accept love?" Rori stressed. We gradually clap in response. The bottom line is that a matching service is appropriate for you if you are secure in who you are, what you want, and what you can provide to a connection. If you aren't, you must first develop your connection with yourself before beginning a relationship with someone else.

Matches are not determined by an algorithm

A matchmaking service, unlike the algorithms we all know and despise in the internet world, takes an intuitive approach to pairing two individuals. They take into account each person's personality features, values, and preferences, and they "concentrate away from the surface level and delve deep into what makes each person uniquely distinct," according to Rori. This enables you to meet individuals you might not have met otherwise. "Matchmakers spend a lot of work harmonizing two people's beliefs and interests," Rori stated.

You are not required to do the screening

Swiping left and right all the time puts a load on your thumb, head, and heart, so why not delegate the vetting to a professional? Rori claims to be able to "quickly distinguish who is searching for a fun time rather than a life-long mate," which is important since we aren't out here wasting time with someone who doesn't have genuine intentions. In all honesty, you can only learn so much about someone from their dating profile or an hour of discussion at the bar. It's not unusual to be deceived and dissatisfied as a result. Alternatively, if you are ready to date but are frustrated because no one "fits your criteria," it may be time to seek advice from a seasoned expert. "Excessive pickiness will actually lead a person to limited pickings," Rori stated. So, rather than always looking for someone who checks all of your boxes, you may be better off allowing someone else to lead you in your love life.

You will be assisted throughout the procedure

You're "matched" with individuals on dating apps, but then you're on your own. It's entirely up to you (and them) to maintain a conversation, schedule a date, and advance your relationship—but it doesn't have to be this way. Matchmakers assist you throughout the process, whether it's overcoming first-date fears or finding the courage to show off your best self. And, given that dating gurus advise us to avoid receiving advice from our friends, having an expert to turn to is critical.

A matching service is risk-free

The most terrifying aspect of dating isn't the possibility of rejection or discovering someone's bad relationship practices. It's the reality that you have no idea who you're going to spend your time with. Stranger peril, anyone? Rori informs us that "matchmakers operate as a reputable third-party option to internet dating," and that their priority is safety. While horror tales are few and far between, they do occur, and that is not to be underestimated. If you want to be extra careful, you may rely on a professional dating service that is concerned with your best interests—your safety and security.

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Why are breakups so traumatic?

A divorce or breakup may be one of life's most difficult and traumatic situations. Whatever the reason for the breakup—and whether you wanted it or not—the end of a relationship may throw your whole life upside down and cause a slew of unpleasant and disturbing feelings. Even if a relationship is no longer healthy, a divorce or separation may be excruciatingly painful since it marks the loss of not just the partnership, but also the ambitions and commitments you shared. Romantic partnerships start on a high note of anticipation and optimism for the future. When a relationship collapses, we are left with feelings of deep sadness, stress, and loss. A split or divorce takes you into an unknown land. Your routine and obligations, your house, your connections with extended family and friends, and even your identity are all affected. A divorce creates uncertainties about the future. How would your life be without your partner? Will you find another person? Will you be left alone? These unknowns might often seem to be worse than being in an unhappy relationship. Because of the sorrow, interruption, and uncertainty, recuperating after a split or divorce may be tough and time-consuming. However, it is critical to continue telling yourself that you can and will overcome this adversity and even go forward with a newfound feeling of hope and optimism.

Managing a split or divorce

Recognize that it is normal to have varied emotions. It is natural to experience sadness, anger, exhaustion, frustration, and confusion—and these emotions may be powerful. You may also be concerned about the future. Accept that such responses will fade with time. Even if the relationship was toxic, going into the unknown is terrifying. Allow yourself a rest. Allow yourself to feel and perform at a less-than-optimal level for a while. For a while, you may not be able to be as productive at work or care for others in the same manner that you are used to. Take time to mend, refocus, and re-energize; no one is Superman or Supergirl. Don't go through this by yourself. Sharing your emotions with friends and family will help you get through this difficult time. Consider attending a support group where you may chat with others who are going through the same thing. Isolating yourself may increase your stress, impair your focus, and interfere with your career, other relationships, and general health. Don't be scared to seek outside assistance if necessary.

Allow yourself time to mourn the loss of the connection

Grief is a normal emotion to lose, and the end of a love relationship entails many losses: 1. Companionship and shared experiences are lost (which may or may not have been consistently pleasurable). 2. Loss of financial, intellectual, social, or emotional support. 3. Hopes, plans, and aspirations are dashed (which can be even more painful than practical losses). It may be frightening to allow yourself to experience the sadness of these losses. You may be afraid that your feelings will be too powerful to tolerate, or that you will be trapped in a dark place for the rest of your life. Just keep in mind that mourning is a necessary part of the healing process. Grief is exactly what allows you to let go of the former relationship and move on. And, no matter how great your sadness is, it will pass.

Grief support after a split or divorce

Don't resist your emotions. It's natural to experience a wide range of feelings, including anger, resentment, grief, relief, fear, and bewilderment. It is important to recognize and appreciate these sentiments. While these feelings are frequently difficult, suppressing or ignoring them will only delay the mourning process. Discuss how you're feeling. Even though it is tough for you to speak about your emotions with others, you must do so while you are mourning. Knowing that others are aware of your emotions can make you feel less alone in your suffering and will aid in your healing. Writing in a diary may also be a good way to express yourself. Remember that the ultimate aim is to move on. In some ways, expressing your sentiments can free you, but it is critical not to concentrate on the bad feelings or over-analyze the circumstance. Stuck in negative emotions like blame, wrath, and resentment saps your vitality and prevents you from healing and going ahead. Remember that you still have a future. When you commit to someone, you build numerous aspirations and goals for your future together. It's difficult to let go of these dreams after a breakup. As you mourn the loss of the future you previously imagined, remember that new aspirations and ambitions will ultimately replace your old ones. Understand the difference between a natural response to a breakup and depression. After a breakup, grief may be paralyzing, but after a time, the melancholy starts to fade. You begin to progress day by day, little by little. However, if you don't sense any forward motion, you may be depressed. Providing support to your children after a divorce or separation When parents divorce, their children may experience confusion, anger, and uncertainty, as well as tremendous sadness. You may assist your children to deal with the split by giving stability and catering to their needs with a soothing, optimistic attitude as a parent.

Seek assistance from others

Others' support is essential for healing following a split or divorce. You may want to be alone, but doing so will just make this time more difficult. Don't attempt to go through this alone. Make eye contact with trustworthy friends and family members. People who have had difficult breakups or divorces might be very beneficial. They understand how you feel and can convince you that there is a possibility for recovery and new connections. Face-to-face interaction is also an excellent approach to alleviate the tension of a split and reestablishing balance in your life. Spend time with individuals who encourage, support, and energize you. Choose prudently while deciding who to contact. Surround yourself with good individuals who listen to you. It's critical that you feel free to be open about your feelings without fear of being judged, ridiculed, or told what to do. If you need outside assistance, seek it. If reaching out to others is difficult for you, try visiting a therapist or joining a support group (see the Resources section below). The most essential thing is that you have at least one area where you can be yourself. Develop new friendships. Attempt to meet new people if you believe you have lost your social network as a result of the divorce or split. Participate in a networking group or a specific interest club, take a class, participate in community events, or volunteer at a school, place of worship, or other community organization.

After a breakup, take care of yourself

Divorce is a traumatic and life-changing experience. It's more crucial than ever to take care of yourself while you're going through the emotional wringer and coping with huge life changes. The stress and upheaval of a catastrophic breakup may leave you vulnerable both mentally and physically. Treat yourself as though you're recovering from the illness. Get lots of rest, limit other causes of stress in your life, and, if feasible, lessen your workload. One of the most significant skills you can learn after a breakup is how to take care of yourself. As you process your loss's feelings and begin to learn from your experience, you might decide to take better care of yourself and make better decisions in the future.

Self-care Suggestions

Make time for yourself every day. Schedule daily time for things that you find quiet and pleasant to help yourself recover. Spend time with close friends, go for a stroll in the woods, listen to music, soak in a hot bath, get a massage, read a favorite book, attend a yoga session, or drink a nice cup of tea. Pay attention to what you need at any given time and speak out to convey your requirements. Respect what you feel to be right and best for you, even if it differs from what your ex or others want. Say "no" without shame or stress to respect what is best for you. Maintain a routine. A divorce or breakup may cause havoc in practically every aspect of your life, magnifying emotions of stress, anxiety, and instability. Returning to a regular schedule may give a feeling of stability and normality. Take a break. Try not to make any significant choices, like as beginning a new career or relocating to a new place, in the first several months following a separation or divorce. If possible, wait till you're less emotional so you can make more rational judgments. To cope, avoid using drink, drugs, or food. When you're going through a breakup, you may be tempted to do everything to alleviate your agony and loneliness. However, using drink, drugs, or food as an escape is harmful in the long term. It is critical to developing healthy coping mechanisms for uncomfortable emotions. The free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit from HelpGuide might be useful. Investigate new hobbies. Divorce or split is both a beginning and an end. Make use of the chance to discover new hobbies and activities. Pursuing enjoyable, new hobbies allows you to appreciate life in the present moment rather than obsessing about the past. Making healthy choices: eating properly, sleeping well, and exercising regularly When you're going through the hardship of a divorce or breakup, it's easy to let good habits slip. You may find yourself not eating at all or eating excessively of your favorite junk foods. Exercise may be more difficult to fit in due to additional obligations at home, and sleep may be elusive. But all of your efforts to move ahead in a favorable direction will be futile unless you adopt long-term healthy lifestyle choices.

Learning valuable life lessons through a separation or divorce

It might be tough to recognize it while you're going through a terrible breakup, but there are chances to develop and learn throughout times of emotional crisis. You may be experiencing nothing but emptiness and despair in your life right now, but that doesn't imply that things will remain the same. Consider this moment in your life to be a break, a time to plant the seeds of fresh development. You may come out of this experience understanding yourself better, feeling stronger and wiser. To truly accept and move on after a breakup, you must first comprehend what occurred and accept your role in it. The more you understand how your decisions influenced the relationship, the more you'll be able to learn from them—and prevent doing them again in the future.

Questions to Consider

1. Take a step back and consider the larger picture. How did you contribute to the relationship's problems? 2. Do you have a habit of making the same errors or selecting the wrong person in relationship after relationship? 3. Consider how you cope with stress, conflict, and insecurity. Could you take a more positive approach? 4. Consider if you accept other people as they are, rather than how they might or "should" be. 5. Use your negative sentiments as a springboard for transformation. Are you in command of your emotions, or are they in command of you? During this stage of the healing process, you must be honest with yourself. Try not to linger on who is to blame or to punish yourself for your errors. Looking back on the relationship allows you to understand more about yourself, how you react to others, and the issues you need to work on. You'll be able to identify where you went wrong and make better choices next time if you can objectively assess your own decisions and conduct, including the reasons why you picked your previous spouse.

Photo by Jure Širić from Pexels There's something about the holidays that brings everyone out of hiding. It's as if you run into someone you know wherever you go. You'll run into your childhood best friend's mother in the baking department if you go to the grocery store. When you go Christmas shopping, you'll see your old dog walker in the Lululemon checkout line. Grab a drink with your sister at the corner pub, only to discover that your ex is playing darts with their pals. We anticipate all of these interactions around the holidays, but for some reason, we are virtually never prepared for the final one. To help you prepare for what may be the most unpleasant and awkward meeting of the holiday season (unless your family debates about politics over the dinner table), we've compiled a list of six things to remember when you run into an ex.

1. Remember the cause for your breakup

Seeing your ex may elicit a wide range of feelings (both positive and negative), so it's easy to get sidetracked by how you're feeling when you see them. But keep one thing in mind: the reason you're no longer together. Whether you broke it up, they did, or it was a joint choice, remembering the reason for your breakup—even if it was unpleasant given the circumstances—will save you from getting caught up in previous grievances or situations that no longer carry any weight.

2. Be kind with yourself if you haven't gotten over it yet

It's OK if you still love them, are still upset at them, or are somewhere in the middle and aren't quite over the split. Moving on from someone you've invested your heart in is difficult and time-consuming, and seeing them doesn't make it any easier. If seeing them causes your heart to sink into your stomach and you panic, take a deep breath and offer yourself some grace. It's normal to feel anxious and emotional after seeing them for the first time in a long time.

3. Remind yourself of the positive things that have occurred after your breakup

Breakups are awful. Trust us, we understand. However, there is usually some good that comes from it. Instead of focusing on the memories you had with them, consider all that has transpired since you split up. Maybe when you had stopped sobbing on your sofa with your bestie, you discovered a new pastime you like, or you committed more attention to your profession and won a fantastic promotion. Here's how we view it: you can either wallow in your past or appreciate your life as it is today.

4. You are not required to impress them

OK, I know we have a whole piece with clothing suggestions for when you could run into your ex, but the purpose isn't to wear something that will give them googley eyes—the point is to feel comfortable and confident if you do run into them. Of course, this extends beyond what you're wearing. Although it's natural to want people to believe you're doing well and looking well, the truth is that what they think of you no longer matters. So don't go out of your way to seem to be the coolest, baddest chick in town—the people who matter in your life already know you are. What about your ex's point of view? What does it matter?

5. Keep interactions brief and to the point (or not at all)

Spoiler alert: If you don't want to speak to them when you see them, you don't have to. We don't advocate, however, pretending you didn't see them when everyone (including them) knows you did. A grin and a wave is an acceptable and courteous method of greeting them without making things awkward. Keep it brief and quick if you do wish to speak to them or if they begin a discussion. Anything beyond that might rekindle old sentiments, disappointments, or arguments, putting a damper on your vacation.

6. It is none of your business what is going on in their lives

I realize it's harsh. But it works both ways. You owe each other no information since you are no longer engaged in each other's daily lives. This includes: whether or not they are dating, how their family is, what they are doing while in town, whether or not they still work at the same job, how their dog is—you get the idea. These information about their (or your) lives that you would have known about each other while you were dating are no longer your concern. That doesn't mean you can't speak about personal matters if you want to, but it also means you don't have to.

Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels So you've been in a long-term relationship for what seems like FOREVER. You've gone through the first battle, and then the second, third, fourth, and hundredth (hopefully unhurt), and now you're at the conclusion of the movie when the closing scene fades to black, the titles roll, and the romantic comedy concludes. Schedules, to-do lists, late evenings spent working, early alarm clocks, dishes to do, and errands to do are all part of everyday life anymore. So, how do you keep the romance going when the romantic comedy turns into, well, real life? *In a Carrie Bradshaw-esque tone, I inquired* Sure, planning a fancy candlelit dinner for which you actually shave your legs or a weekend getaway with sun and lots of margaritas can temporarily restore the spark in a relationship, but what about keeping the spark alive in your mundane daily routine—when there are no white beaches or spicy margaritas, when you aren't eating steak and gulping red wine by candlelight, and when your legs are more werewolf than human? The lazy girl in me cringes at the following remark, but the fact is that it takes effort to keep the spark alive in an LTR. The good news is that if you're with the right one (dare I say, "The One"), it won't feel like an effort.

Why do individuals lose "the spark" in the first place?

Couples lose their spark for a variety of reasons, including long distances, conflicting schedules, or developing anger. However, even in the finest relationships, romanticism will fade if you don't work on it. If you're a scientist (which I clearly am not), think of it as a muscle: if you don't use it, it weakens. As the days, months, and years pass, butterflies become to-do lists, and a relationship may become a habit. Life may seem demanding and hectic due to jobs, commitments, or children. Having a spouse who is the one consistent or sure thing in your life is wonderful — rom-com material, even! — but it may also make it easier to prioritize your partner and your relationship when you know they're a given. Not spending enough quality time together and focusing less on the relationship might leave you both feeling somewhat dissatisfied, undervalued, or even miserable. Rewind your rom-com and, in the words of Taylor Swift (aka the only person my 13-year-old self needed to consult about love issues), "Sparks Fly" again with these 10 strategies to keep the romance alive in your relationship:

How to Maintain the Spark in a Relationship

1. Request something fresh every week

Knowing what "the spark" means to you is the first step in keeping it alive. Because we all have distinct love languages, it's possible that what makes you feel loved and appreciated differs from what makes your spouse feel loved and appreciated. This implies that we offer and exhibit love in a variety of ways. Instead of expecting that your spouse would show your love in the manner you want or experiencing anger when they do not, trust your relationship enough to ask for what you want. Make it a game by thinking up something really specific that you each have to focus on for the week at the start of each week. Perhaps you'd want them to organize a surprise date, send you flowers one day, or complement your appearance. Perhaps they'll want more one-on-one time with you or more positive comments on their efforts. Although it is only meant to last a week, actions will teach your spouse not just what makes you feel loved, but also how to make you feel loved. If they see how delighted you are when they do anything once or twice, whether it's organizing a date night or complementing the startling color of your eyes, it will become routine.

2. Turn off your phone

Okay, so maybe this one is a touch cliche. I mean, you've been instructed to put your phone away at the dinner table since you were a pre-teen—you've heard it from your mother enough, and you don't need to hear it from me. If I know anything about mobile phone addiction (and I do), I know how simple it is for that sneaky little iPhone to sneak into your life when you're watching Netflix, driving in the vehicle, or even having dinner together. As innocuous as a TikTok scroll may seem, cherish every moment you spend together. When you're enjoying a meal, a chat, or a good old-fashioned binge-watching session, put your phone aside. When you're together, stay present.

3. Maintain eye contact

Romance does not have to be ignited by great gestures or public shows of affection—intimacy occurs in the smallest of moments. Making eye contact with your spouse has scientific support (see, I can be scientific!)—it generates neuronal synchronization and releases oxytocin. Eye contact makes your brain feel more linked to another person, in words that didn't originate from a chemical textbook. When you're talking, make eye contact so your spouse knows you're listening and can better connect with you (again, put the phone away!). When you're in a crowded room or out at a party, try to lock eyes across the room (there's a reason it's a classic rom-com meet-cute! ), or keep eye contact longer than you normally do in random situations (but not for too long that it goes all serial killer—10 seconds of eye contact and a cute little smirk is plenty).

4. Experiment with something new together

Break out of your routine, whether it's going to a different location or enrolling in a new culinary class. We frequently get numb to many of the reasons we love and respect our Sig Oth when we're locked in a routine (mine certainly enjoys the fact that I sometimes refer to him as my "Sig Oth"). Trying something new is not only thrilling and interesting but seeing your spouse in a completely different situation can teach you things you never knew about them and/or remind you why you fell in love with them in the first place. You could fall in love with them all over again... you've been warned!

5. Spend some time away

Whether your regular relationship is to spend every waking hour connected at the hip like Mary Kate and Ashley (during the early 2000s), or you've been living thousands of miles away for years, time apart might be beneficial. Even whether it's simply an hour at a hot yoga class or a weekend away on a ladies' vacation, spending some time apart will allow your spouse to miss you and vice versa. Doing your own thing will also provide you with something fresh to catch up on and discuss, breaking you out of your typical pattern. I don't think I need to suggest self-care, but spending time for yourself and doing what you want every now and then will boost your confidence. And we've all seen what occurs when a woman leads with confidence... hi there, spark!

6. Begin a dialogue

When was the last time you really spoke to your partner? A talk that didn't entail to-do lists or happen in the few minutes before bedtime? Sharing a genuine, emotional connection entails talking about your future, caring about what's on the other person's mind, fantasizing together, or reconnecting about your relationship's demands. If your only talks these days begin with "How was work?" or "Here's what we have to accomplish tomorrow," attempt to initiate a more in-depth discussion. During dinner, ask, "What is something you want to do but are afraid of?" may ask, "What's your favorite thing about our relationship?" before going to bed. According to psychology, it takes five positive events for every bad encounter (such as a fight or argument) to feel like you're in a joyful, exciting relationship. Even if it's challenging, try to make the bulk of your interactions interesting, humorous, or entertaining. The remainder might be humdrum scheduling, conflicts, or routine.

7. Kiss

Remember when making out by the lockers was the thing to do as a teenager? And it was so thrilling because it was the only thing to do. Times have changed (for the better), but make sure kissing remains a component of your relationship. I don't mean kissing in general (I hope you're not thinking in Pretty Woman's terms), but rather kissing that's spontaneous and meaningful, as in high school. Kissing should not be limited to merely saying hello and goodbye or initiating intimacy. When there's no expectation or purpose for it—when you're going out to dinner, in the midst of a discussion, or simply to spontaneously remind them you love them—kiss deeply and passionately.

8. Make laughing with others a primary priority

Laughter is not only the finest medicine, but it is also the best-kept secret for keeping the flame alive. You know how you can make a joke about a fight or an event and say, "Someday we'll laugh at this?" Why put it off till someday? When you're in it for the long haul, there's nothing to take too seriously—when you can, find the comedy in your fights or awkward situations. Watching something you know will make you laugh and create inside jokes as much as it will help you establish trust. Bring up humorous memories, email your partner memes that reflect your common sense of humor, and tease each other like middle schoolers. Life is too brief to take things too seriously, particularly when doing so extinguishes your fire.

9. Make an effort to impress one another

If you're in a long-term relationship, your spouse has probably seen you through post-Taco Bell bloat, the heavy day hell on your period, and maybe the delivery of a kid or two. Sure, your lover has probably seen you at your worst—after all, love is seeing someone at their worst and treating them as though they are at their finest. But do you remember when you used to dress up for them? Perhaps you put on a full face of makeup only to see a movie together at first, or you donned your most beautiful clothing for a simple dinner date. Channel the same drive to impress them and make an effort to look and feel your best, whether it's putting on body oil after a shower (also serves as self-care!) or wearing high heels to a dinner date. For this one, you must both be on the same page. If you make an effort and your spouse doesn't notice or tries to impress you, you'll feel underappreciated. If they're the kind of person who tells you how gorgeous you are even when you're not wearing heels or contouring properly (who cares? ), and if they want to constantly make you proud and wow you, they deserve a little extra effort now and again, whatever that effort means to you.

10. Make a change instead of expecting for a change from your spouse

If you are continuously urging your spouse to say or do more romantic things, it might seem like nagging. Instead of always asking, consider how much more you can give to your mate. When you're with the proper person, they'll notice your additional effort and feel compelled to reciprocate. Be liberal with your devotion, and if you really love them, show it. If everything else fails, consider the behaviors you both displayed at the start of your relationship. Consider how you felt about them, how you treated them, and how much you wanted to make them happy. If you behave as if it's the beginning, it could never end. *Insert Happily Ever After*

Photo by ELEVATE from Pexels Friendships at their finest may seem welcoming, secure, and magical as if you and another had what it takes to fill each other's universe. People often tell me as a contemporary love therapist that they feel more seen and heard by their platonic friends than by family, spouses, and coworkers. Friendships, however, become more difficult as we age, sometimes causing uncertainty and pain. It may be difficult to know whether to attempt to reconnect, when to allow the connection room for the natural ebbs and flows of intimacy, and when to terminate it with dignity. Friendships fade for a variety of reasons, some understandable and others not so much. It's natural to lose contact when you move across the nation, marry someone with conflicting political beliefs, or go through various life phases at different times. In other circumstances, there is a lack of reciprocity for no apparent reason, or not enough threads of connection are being spun to maintain the relationship's fabric. It might be difficult to know whether to seek connection if you realize you're less connected to someone than previously but aren't sure why. What's the difference between regular changes in proximity and harmful distance that indicates the end is near? What does it say if you keep putting off getting that drink and making excuses about your availability? Should you speak out about what's not working in the relationship, or should you leave to allow room for more loving ones? We must prioritize who and what is essential to us with so many demands on our time. While we cannot influence the actions and decisions of others, we can select who we invite into the ring of our life.

The justification for addressing, rather than ignoring, relationship distance

When partnerships no longer feel pleasant, many of us abandon them rather than confront the issues in front of them. When we cling on to relationships that don't seem clear, we create a framework of "stable ambiguity," or the condition of being too afraid to be alone but also being hesitant to truly, fully, honestly, and completely participate in the growth of intimacy, as relationship expert Esther Perel describes. The haziness might make us feel as if we're in a waiting room, waiting to see who will make the first move or bid for connection. The problem is that these agreements prevent us from seeking stronger relationships or, conversely, from saying no to individuals we don't want to have a front-row seat to our lives. Nobody in the partnership feels like their needs are being satisfied, which may be harmful to our mental and physical well-being.

Common causes of a friendship breakdown

Growing up entails having lived experiences

Our needs vary as we develop, and so do our relationships. Childhood friendships may have seemed steady, complete with routines like after-school playdates and library study sessions; they may have seemed to endure forever. Then comes maturity, when we no longer have the metronome that keeps us all on the same schedule. As our lived experiences mold us, we begin to walk down other routes, subscribe to different beliefs, and become new persons. While this is perfectly natural, we lack a cultural vocabulary for dealing with these relationship-destabilizing shifts. Many of us delay dealing with ends and transitions to escape the sadness that comes with them. Admitting that a friendship is no longer exciting or invigorating comes with sentiments of sadness, regret, or even wrath (the indicator of the presence of unmet needs).

In American society, the nuclear family and independence are emphasized at the price of friendship

There is a significant investment in marriage and the nuclear family, which is sanctioned by the state and monetarily rewarded with tax cuts and perks. The dating industrial complex is based on the notion that being single is a problem that must be solved-research and grant monies are devoted to understanding romantic love-recent estimates reveal that about 370 million individuals in the United States are seeking love online. I couldn't locate a single statistic that measured individuals who seek friendship online—we don't quantify it because we don't value it culturally. As adults, society is not naturally designed for us to form or retain friendships. As a result, many individuals feel alienated and estranged from their communities, relying too much on themselves or their spouses to feel fed. According to the Survey Center on American Life, the number of Americans who believe they don't have a single close buddy has doubled since 1990.

Capitalism is incompatible with relationship wellness

In a society where being busy and productive is a measure of worth—and an economy based on extracting as much work from people as possible for as little money as possible—it may be difficult to give relationships the space and energy they need to flourish. What we nurture develops, and it has become perfectly acceptable to blame work for not being able to invest in connection. Because there is no enforceable obligation or expectation that we show up at 9 a.m., friendships are entirely optional. Like our work, we must be ready to interact. As a result, many individuals put platonic connections on hold.

5 things to consider while making decisions in the name of intimacy and authenticity

1. Is this connection valuable to me?

Consider the individual you're conflicted about and ask yourself whether they still have value and significance in your life. What do you like about them? When you think about spending time with them, how do you feel in your body? Consider what you still gain from the relationship. Is familiarity still valuable to you? Is it comforting to have someone who knows about your history present in your life? Is there anything you still like about each other? Determine if you can change this person's position and your expectations of them (from best friend to peripheral friend, perhaps). You may determine that they still mean a lot to you, but you won't strive to connect with them in the same manner or at the same frequency.

2. In this relationship, how do I feel about giving?

If you've begun to experience resentment, it signifies you've gone over your limit. Resentment breeds distance and, in certain situations, disdain, and is a predictor of relationship breakdown. Consider how you feel about what you're giving out—your time, emotional energy, and so on—and ask yourself if there are any ways you may either preserve your energy and resources or ask for certain requirements to be satisfied.

3. What remained unsaid?

We often think that discussing difficult topics will result in a schism. In actuality, if acknowledging our emotions causes distance or conflict, we did not cause the issue; we just disclosed it. Spend some time considering what you may want to say that sounds difficult or frightening, and assess if the relationship can withstand hearing it. If it can't, share it with someone else in your life so that these sentiments are acknowledged. If it can, consider what needs to change for you to find the courage to share. Consider it a kind of advocacy for yourself and the relationship.

4. Can I wait for this individual?

Life is a lengthy journey. There may be times when they are apart and others when they are close. Consider if you can allow someone room to work through their difficulties while being open and connected to the desire for more in the future. How can you let them know you're giving them space and will connect with them when they're ready?

5. Can I utter my last words?

Goodbyes are often avoided in dominant white American society. We don't want to equate endings with sadness (defined as the shape love takes when someone you care about dies). Rather than ignoring the end of the connection and allowing it to fade, try participating in the process of "power parting," which is a method to end a relationship with compassion and integrity, leaving you and the other with clarity rather than uncertainty. The four main components of "power parting" are as follows: 1. Thank you for all I've learned from you. 2. This is what I take away from you. 3. This is what I want you to remember about me. 4. Moving ahead, this is what I hope for you. Many relationships have distinct starts, middles, and finishes. The issue isn't with these phases; it's when we attempt to ignore or struggle against their truth. Having the courage to pay attention to how relationships feel and what we want to do about them empowers us. It also opens additional chances for intimacy, either within current relationships or by making room in our life for new ones.

Photo by Hannah Nelson from Pexels You brush, floss, and go to the dentist on a regular basis to maintain your smile bright and healthy, but do you know which practices really harm your teeth? Snacking on sugary foods between meals is certainly a poor habit, but some other behaviors that harm teeth are less visible. Is there anything you do every day that jeopardizes your dental health? Here are some bad oral hygiene behaviors to avoid.

1. Brushing Your Teeth and Gums Excessively

Yes, it is possible to overbrush your teeth. According to the American Dental Association (ADA), using a firm-bristled toothbrush or brushing too forcefully might harm your gums and teeth. To prevent this, wash your teeth gently in broad strokes with a soft-bristled toothbrush.

2. Biting Your Nails

Consider the potential harm to your jaw and teeth if you need another reason to quit chewing your nails. Nail biting, according to the ADA, may cause jaw dysfunction since it leads you to maintain your jaw in a protruded posture for lengthy periods of time. Nail biting may also cause tooth damage. To break the habit, paint your nails with nail polish.

3. Ice Chewing

Do you mindlessly nibble on the leftover ice cubes after completing a nice, delicious drink? To avoid the danger of a damaged tooth or filling, the ADA suggests sipping via a straw or drinking without ice to help you stop the habit.

4. Teeth Clenching or Grinding

Clenching and grinding one's teeth is a common subconscious behavior, but it may lead to tooth damage, muscular discomfort, and limited jaw mobility. The ADA advises relaxation techniques, a nocturnal mouth guard, and being more aware of when the clenching or grinding begins to help avoid this hazardous practice.

5. Use of Tobacco

Tobacco products, whether cigarettes, cigars, or chewing tobacco, are all detrimental to your teeth and gums, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Tobacco use raises your chances of developing gum disease, foul breath, dry mouth, tooth decay, and oral cancer. Consult your doctor about cigarette cessation programs.

6. Thumb or Finger Sucking

Sucking thumbs or fingers is normal for newborns, but beyond the age of five, the behavior may lead to misaligned teeth, according to the Cleveland Clinic. This misalignment might lead to major tooth issues as the youngster gets older. If your kid is 5 or older and still sucking their thumb or finger, their doctor or pediatric dentist can help you wean them off thumb sucking.

7. Making Use of Toothpicks

After a meal, you may believe it's a good idea to remove food particles from your teeth with a toothpick or another non-dental device, but the Mayo Clinic warns that this practice might harm and infect your gums. To remove food lodged between your teeth, floss or use ADA-approved dental cleaning equipment.

8. Improper Use of Your Teeth

According to the ADA, if you hold anything in your teeth or bite open a box, you risk harm to your jaw or a shattered tooth. Take your time and avoid using your teeth as a third hand or a pair of scissors.

9. Drinking Soda

According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, consuming carbonated soft drinks on a regular basis may lead to damaged tooth enamel. Replace bottled water with plain water (ideally fluoridated), milk, or green or black tea. These may assist to build your enamel and protect your teeth from microorganisms in your mouth.

10. Eating Sugary Snacks

According to the American Dental Association, consuming high-sugar snacks between meals feeds the germs in your mouth that cause tooth decay. Eat balanced meals to reduce hunger between meals, and if you do eat anything sweet, drink lots of water afterward.

11. Ignoring the Dentist

Along with these tooth-damaging practices, neglecting preventative dental treatment might have an influence on your oral health. It's easy to convince yourself that you're too busy for a dental exam, or that the pang of discomfort you feel every time you bite down will go away on its own but don't put off seeing your dentist. Make the effort to schedule a dentist appointment the next time you're tempted to put it off.

Photo by Shiny Diamond from Pexels Brushing and flossing are essential components of a healthy dental practice. However, there are other things you can do to help keep your teeth and gums healthy, which will improve your general health.

1. BRUSH YOUR TEETH TWICE PER DAY FOR TWO MINUTES

Regular care is the first step in keeping your teeth clean and healthy. Brushing for two minutes twice a day, as recommended by the 2x2 rule, will assist to keep plaque at bay. Patients with children should teach this notion as early as possible and find methods to make it enjoyable. You may play a music while they clean their teeth, or set a timer for two minutes. Spend 30 seconds on each quadrant of your mouth to make cleaning every tooth simpler (upper right side, upper left side, lower right side, lower left side). It is essential to use the correct procedures to ensure that the teeth are cleaned properly and that the soft tissue around them is not damaged. Angle the brush head towards the gums in gentle circular strokes. Clean all surfaces, as well as the gum line, on both the front and back of your teeth. Some people feel that using an electric toothbrush is beneficial as well.

2. FLOSS EVERY DAY

It is important to floss every night before brushing to eliminate everything that your toothbrush cannot remove. Many patients confess to neglecting this step, although it is an essential element of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Small particles of food and other deposits missed by your toothbrush might gradually grow into decay if you merely brush and opt not to floss. To prevent this, make flossing a two-minute part of your daily regimen. When you first start flossing, it may sting your delicate gums. This is normal and will subside after a few days of flossing. When flossing, be sure to move it up and down the whole tooth. Tight gaps are one of the most crucial locations to floss since your toothbrush cannot reach these regions.

3. REPLACE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AS IT SHINES

As a general guideline, replacing it every 3 to 6 months should maintain it in good enough form to thoroughly clean your teeth. Damaged or frayed toothbrushes cannot clean the surface of your teeth properly and might cause gum injury. Replacing your toothbrush on a regular basis also helps to keep it clean. Always clean your toothbrush well before storing it to allow it to dry. If you've been ill, be sure to change your toothbrush to avoid reintroducing germs into your mouth.

4. GO TO THE DENTIST EVERY SIX MONTHS

If you have frequent dental checkups, your dentist will be able to prevent problems from occurring, or at the very least detect them early. Regular visits also enable your teeth to have a complete professional cleaning twice a year, eradicating any plaque and tartar accumulation and promoting the health of your teeth and gums.

5. KEEP A HEALTHY DIET

Avoiding sweetened foods (such as soda, sports drinks, and candy) and eating calcium-rich meals can assist to promote strong and healthy teeth. As an added bonus, your body will thank you! Leafy greens, almonds, yogurt, and cheese are among foods that might help strengthen your teeth. Speak with your dentist about foods that will help keep your teeth healthy for years to come.

6. MAKE USE OF DENTAL HYGIENE PRODUCTS

Brushing and flossing are important for preventative dental health, but you can also assist maintain your teeth in good shape by including supplementary aids into your regimen. Mouthwash, oral irrigators, interdental cleaners, and tongue cleansers are examples of these goods. These tools may assist maintain excellent oral health and should be used in addition to (rather than in place of) regular brushing and flossing.

7. STAY HYDRATE DURING THE DAY

Not only is enough hydration beneficial to your general health, but it also aids in the maintenance of a healthy saliva flow. Saliva promotes dental health by transporting food particles through your mouth, preventing the majority of them from being lodged in your teeth, where germs may thrive. It also keeps your mouth moist and comfy.

8. DO NOT SMOKE

Smoking causes both cosmetic problems, such as tooth discoloration, and serious health problems, such as gum (periodontal) disease, which may lead to tooth loss, and oral cancer, among other things. Quitting smoking is one of the finest things you can do for your oral and general health.

9. THINK ABOUT DENTAL SEALANTS

Dental sealant plugs the depressions and grooves (fissures) in your molars and premolars, preventing cavities and plaque buildup. Sealants are beneficial to most individuals, but children and teenagers are ideal candidates since they do not brush as effectively as adults, resulting in a greater risk of cavities.

10. EXAMINE THE INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH AT HOME ON A REGULAR BASIS

While frequent dental examinations are an effective preventative step, problems may arise in the months between appointments. To avoid significant problems, do a fast inspection of the interior of your mouth as part of your regular routine. Examine your teeth and gums for any changes or unusualities. Make sure to discuss this information with your dentist at your next visit, or phone the office if you see anything problematic. Regular self-examinations are helpful to your health.